I had stored many things from my parents home in my studio in San Pedro, and finally made time to go through it.  It was difficult emotionally as I slogged through a lifetime of tapes my father had made of my live performances, cards my parents had given each other over their 55 year marriage, things I had put aside for my sister (who passed suddenly from an aneurysm January 2009, shortly after her 57th birthday).,...and just "Stuff". 

   Much came up for me...including lots of sorrow around my sisters' recent and father's passing 8 years ago, and the slow, heart breaking decline of my Mom.  I was aware that I was feeling more run down than I've ever felt, and as many of you know, I tend to push myself very hard, not always by choice, sometimes circumstances.  I had a serious dizzy spell the end of July and missed a morning gig because literally, I just couldn't get upright.  

   I planned to have some down time to recoup before leaving for the GTW event in WI and was starting to catch up on some of my personal health issues when BAMMM....the universal 2 x 4 knocks me a BIG one.  I'll save you the scary details, but thankfully Alan was home, saw that I was not "OK" and I had a nice ride in an ambulance, lots of tests, some still ongoing and a very big WAKE UP call.   All I really remember was that the ground suddenly became very soft under my feet....like quick sand....and every one and everything seemed really far away... surreal. 

   The planned "slowing down" is now in full effect as I will stick to my light booking schedule.  What they thought was a TIA (like a mini stroke with no residual effects) was actually most likely a seizure caused by some previous minor bleeding in my brain (No...not an aneurysm....but they were VERY concerned due to my sister).  It was probably compounded by stress, exhaustion, low blood pressure, depletion (caused by female issues...also being addressed..finally) and God only knows what else. 

   So....I am still having more brain tests as well as heart/circulatory testing.  So far, I appear to be "normal".....yep....unbelievable....so it's a mystery, but if you know my work ethic and schedule....not much of a mystery.

   Personally, what I feel affects me the most deeply is living the nightmare of Alzheimer's for over 8 years now.  The tragedy of watching my last immediate blood relative disappear has been HUGE.  When your Mom no longer knows that you are her daughter, calls you afraid, confused and completely inconsolable......it has to touch you deeply.  I have never felt so helpless in my life....and I love to make things better...so this is a tough one for me because i can't make it any better.   Finding a way to disconnect, yet still be there for her has been very difficult and I am still stuck somewhere in the middle.

   I have never felt so driven to create and release music that will inspire people to take individual action to "be the Change"!  Having my energy feel so drained for so long has made this more challenging than ever.  The economy, fear, upset, political climate, anger and unwillingness of our own government to work together for the greater good of all has also been very challenging for me.  The Mother Earth struggling to stay balanced due to the pressures we put upon her to bear, all affect me deeply.  My deep trust and faith keeps me going, but I am very tired.

   What keeps me going are the sweet notes, kind words of support and simply watching my music affect positive change for the listeners.  You all make that possible for me, and i am so deeply grateful for your support.  Truly, without you, I would have no reason to create this music and it would become still within me....so thank you....for caring, sharing and letting it do it's work in the world...for allowing ME to do my work in the world. 

   It will be wonderful to see you at one of my performances sometime soon.  I plan to resume a busier schedule in the new year, so don't hesitate to share any gig leads you may have for me.  Thanks!

     I had an amazing time performing my uplifting music in support of the Gather The Women retreat in Burlingame CA Aug 19-22. What a journey I shared with a roomful of powerful, visionary women.

     In the safety of circle, we  laughed, cried, dreamed and created a common vision for a powerful shift in consciousness.  I came away feeling motivated and empowered as well as loved and supported.  Thanks to ALL of you who participated.  I can't wait until the next one!